First, we'll go through each group and tell you in which order you should cheer for the nations plus the TV schedule for all the game in the group. After that, you can read our combined rooting ranking for all 32 teams so once it gets to the knockout stage you can know who to pull for plus we will give one totally real fun fact about each country. Finally, the complete schedule for the knockout rounds will be listed out.
Group A
Troy's Ranking:
1. Egypt - A) They worshipped cats and B) Mo Salah is kind of good at kicking balls.
2. Uruguay - Uruguay is the country that sounds the most like a sentence (You're a guay!).
3. Saudi Arabia - They might be the worst team to actually qualify for the tournament.
4. Russia - In Mother Russia, football kicks you.
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| Photo via frontpagemeews.com |
1. Egypt - They like cats and Mohamed Salah, which are both quite likable things.
2. Uruguay - It starts with a U and ends with "ruguay".
3. Saudi Arabia - It's probably a fine country, but not a great soccer team.
4. Russia - Need I say more?
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| Photo via forbes.com |
Schedule:
Thursday 6/14
Russia v Saudi Arabia - 11 AM, Fox
Friday 6/15
Egypt v Uruguay - 8 AM, FS1
Tuesday 6/19
Egypt v Russia - 2 PM, Fox
Wednesday 6/20
Saudi Arabia v Uruguay - 11 AM, Fox
Monday 6/25
Russia v Uruguay - 10 AM, Fox
Egypt v South K - 10 AM, FS1
Group B
Troy's Ranking:
1. Portugal - Portugal is the team with the most busts designed based on players per capita.
2. Morocco - Their players are the most Moroccan.
3. Spain - This is the place where the rain falls mainly on the plain.
4. Iran - I hate people who are always bragging about how they run.
Grant's Ranking:
1. Spain - Not only does Spain have a good soccer team, I took a Spanish girl to prom (that's the closest thing I've had to a "relationship", but enough about my nonexistent love life).
2. Morocco - Morocco is fun to say.
3. Portugal - They have the best footballer in the world, but they also have a bust that looks like something drawn by Spongebob (a new-and-improved bust has since been made, but still).
4. Iran - I don't like running or mispronouncing words.
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| Photo via cnn.com |
1. Spain - Not only does Spain have a good soccer team, I took a Spanish girl to prom (that's the closest thing I've had to a "relationship", but enough about my nonexistent love life).
2. Morocco - Morocco is fun to say.
3. Portugal - They have the best footballer in the world, but they also have a bust that looks like something drawn by Spongebob (a new-and-improved bust has since been made, but still).
4. Iran - I don't like running or mispronouncing words.
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| Photo via knowyourmeme.com |
Schedule:
Friday 6/15
Iran v Morocco - 11 AM, Fox
Portugal v Spain - 2 PM, Fox
Wednesday 6/20
Morocco v Portugal - 8 AM, FS1
Iran v Spain - 2 PM, Fox
Monday 6/25
Iran v Portugal - 2 PM, Fox
Morocco v Spain - 2 PM, FS1
Group C
Troy's Ranking:
1. Australia - Their team nickname is the Socceroos and I enjoy that.
2. Peru - Peruvian guinea pigs are majestic and if you disagree you're uninvited to my birthday party.
3. Denmark - They gave us the Danish.
4. France - France has a city named Nice, which seems quite cocky. That's like naming a place Cool, Oregon.
Grant's Ranking:
1. Australia - This group includes two countries I've been to. I enjoyed Australia, and we wouldn't have Steve Irwin, Koala Bears, or AC/DC without "The Land Down Under".
2. France - I also enjoyed France, but French fries aren't actually French.
3. Denmark - I haven't been to Denmark, but I have a friend who's Danish.
4. Peru - I have no connection to this country.
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| Photo via pets4homes.co.uk |
1. Australia - This group includes two countries I've been to. I enjoyed Australia, and we wouldn't have Steve Irwin, Koala Bears, or AC/DC without "The Land Down Under".
2. France - I also enjoyed France, but French fries aren't actually French.
3. Denmark - I haven't been to Denmark, but I have a friend who's Danish.
4. Peru - I have no connection to this country.
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| Photo via pinterest.com |
Schedule:
Saturday 6/16
Australia v France - 6 AM, FS1
Denmark v Peru - 12 PM, FS1
Thursday 6/21
Australia v Demark - 8 AM, FS1
France v Peru - 11 AM, Fox
Tuesday 6/26
Denmark v France - 10 AM, Fox
Australia v Peru - 10 AM, FS1
Group D
Troy's Ranking:
1. Iceland - A) They're basically vikings, B) the city of New Orleans has more people, C) the nation is beautiful, D) there's a surprisingly small amount of ice there.
2. Argentina - They created chimichurri. Never had it, but it's fun to say.
3. Nigeria - Their flag is something I could've made in Microsoft Paint in fourth grade.
4. Croatia - I honestly just don't know much about Croatia.
Grant's Ranking:
1. Nigeria - I originally had Nigeria last in this group (because its flag is boring), but then I saw the Super Eagles' World Cup kits. This is the most stylish team in the field.
2. Iceland - I've eaten Icelandic chocolate (it was pretty good), and I enjoy a good prank (like naming an island covered in ice "Greenland").
3. Croatia - Checkerboard patterns are cool, but that's the only thing I know about Croatia.
4. Argentina - The Argentines fall victim to a tough group. Maybe if they had cooler uniforms...
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| Photo via wikipedia.org |
1. Nigeria - I originally had Nigeria last in this group (because its flag is boring), but then I saw the Super Eagles' World Cup kits. This is the most stylish team in the field.
2. Iceland - I've eaten Icelandic chocolate (it was pretty good), and I enjoy a good prank (like naming an island covered in ice "Greenland").
3. Croatia - Checkerboard patterns are cool, but that's the only thing I know about Croatia.
4. Argentina - The Argentines fall victim to a tough group. Maybe if they had cooler uniforms...
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| Photo via news.sky.com |
Schedule:
Saturday 6/16
Argentina v Iceland - 9 AM, Fox
Croatia v Nigeria - 3 PM, FS1
Thursday 6/21
Argentina v Croatia - 2 PM, Fox
Friday 6/22
Iceland v Nigeria - 2 PM, Fox
Tuesday 6/26
Argentia v Nigeria - 2 PM, Fox
Croatia v Iceland - 2 PM, FS1
Group E
Troy's Ranking:
1. Costa Rica - It loosely translates to "Delicious Coast" if used in a culinary setting.
2. Brazil - They have a plethora of colorful birds.
3. Switzerland - I'm neutral about them.
4. Serbia - They kind of sound like someone saying, "Can I serve ya?" very quickly.
Grant's Ranking:
1. Coast Rica - I took a quiz to see which World Cup team I should root for, and it said Costa Rica, so I will root for the Rich Coast, because the Internet knows best.
2. Brazil - Brazil has a lot of beaches, and I enjoy beaches.
3. Switzerland - I like cheese, but I don't want to get too constipated.
4. Serbia - I've never been to Serbia, so I don't know how nice it is, but I've never heard somebody say, "I want to go to Serbia".
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| Photo via animalli.com |
1. Coast Rica - I took a quiz to see which World Cup team I should root for, and it said Costa Rica, so I will root for the Rich Coast, because the Internet knows best.
2. Brazil - Brazil has a lot of beaches, and I enjoy beaches.
3. Switzerland - I like cheese, but I don't want to get too constipated.
4. Serbia - I've never been to Serbia, so I don't know how nice it is, but I've never heard somebody say, "I want to go to Serbia".
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| Photo via aweekatthebeach.com |
Schedule:
Sunday 6/17
Costa Rica v Serbia - 8 AM, Fox
Brazil v Switzerland - 2 PM, FS1
Friday 6/22
Brazil v Costa Rica - 8 AM, FS1
Serbia v Switzerland - 2 PM, Fox
Wednesday 6/27
Brazil v Serbia - 2 PM, Fox
Costa Rica v Switzerland - 2 PM, FS1
Group F
Troy's Ranking:
1. Sweden - They make affordable, easy to assemble furniture.
2. Mexico - They make excellent food.
3. Germany - Germany is just good at the soccering.
4. South Korea - Their next door neighbors are really annoying.
Grant's Ranking:
1. Mexico - the food is tasty and the culture seems fun.
2. Sweden - I like their fish.
3. South Korea - South Korea is like that person you might hang out with more if he/she didn't have an insane roommate.
4. Germany - The bad guy in the classic Christmas movie "Die Hard" is German.
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| Photo via wikipedia.org |
1. Mexico - the food is tasty and the culture seems fun.
2. Sweden - I like their fish.
3. South Korea - South Korea is like that person you might hang out with more if he/she didn't have an insane roommate.
4. Germany - The bad guy in the classic Christmas movie "Die Hard" is German.
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| Photo via denofgeek.com |
Schedule:
Sunday 6/17
Germany v Mexico - 11 AM, FS1
Monday 6/18
South Korea v Sweden - 8 AM, FS1
Saturday 6/23
Mexico v South Korea - 11 AM, Fox
Germany v Sweden - 2 PM, Fox
Wednesday 6/27
Mexico v Sweden - 10 AM, Fox
Germany v South Korea - 10 AM, FS1
Group G
Troy's Ranking:
1. Tunisia - It is literally Tatoonie.
2. Panama - They have the best canal and the best hats, even though Panama hats were invented in Ecuador.
3. England - If I put them lower they'd send James Bond after me.
4. Belgium - America's waffles are better.
Grant's Ranking:
1. Belgium - I am a fan of great names, and Belgium's national team has some great names.
2. Panama - Any nation that has a Van Halen song named after it cannot be ranked lower than second. Those are the rules.
3. England - On the one hand, England gave us Harry Potter. On the other hand, most movie villains are British.
4. Tunisia - I know absolutely nothing about this country.
| Photo via gentlemansgazette.com |
1. Belgium - I am a fan of great names, and Belgium's national team has some great names.
2. Panama - Any nation that has a Van Halen song named after it cannot be ranked lower than second. Those are the rules.
3. England - On the one hand, England gave us Harry Potter. On the other hand, most movie villains are British.
4. Tunisia - I know absolutely nothing about this country.
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| Photo via wikipedia.org |
Schedule:
Monday 6/18
Belgium v Panama - 11 AM, FS1
England v Tunisia - 2 PM, FS1
Saturday 6/23
Belgium v Tunisia - 8 AM, FS1
Sunday 6/24
England v Panama - 8 AM, FS1
Thursday 6/28
Belgium v England - 2 PM, Fox
Panama v Tunisia - 2 PM, FS1
Group H
Troy's Ranking:
1. Senegal - Why not? Update I found a reason: their team nickname translates to Lions of Generosity.
2. Japan - They gave us Digimon, which, I don't care what you say, is a much better show than Pokemon.
3. Colombia - They have a very strong law school.
4. Poland - This is for every time I thought it was a push door when it was actually a pull door.
Grant's Ranking:
1. Senegal - Africa doesn't get the love it deserves.
2. Colombia - They make nice jackets.
3. Japan - Japan is the birthplace of many cool things, but their flag is just white cloth with a red dot in the middle.
4. Poland - It sounds like somebody started a sentence and didn't finish it. Pol and what?
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| Photo via graphicdesign.stackexchange.com |
1. Senegal - Africa doesn't get the love it deserves.
2. Colombia - They make nice jackets.
3. Japan - Japan is the birthplace of many cool things, but their flag is just white cloth with a red dot in the middle.
4. Poland - It sounds like somebody started a sentence and didn't finish it. Pol and what?
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| Photo via wikipedia.org |
Schedule:
Tuesday 6/19
Columbia v Japan - 8 AM, FS1
Poland v Senegal - 11 AM, Fox
Sunday 6/24
Japan v Senegal - 11 AM, Fox
Columbia v Poland - 2 PM, Fox
Thursday 6/28
Columbia v Senegal - 10 AM, Fox
Japan v Poland - 10 AM, FS1
Complete Ranking (and Possibly Factual Fun Facts)
1. Iceland - The country is not named due to its amount of ice but rather for the Viking prefix ice-, which means chicken nugget, and the suffix -land, which means shaped.
2. Australia - The original English settlers to Australia decided to colonize the island because, in the 18th-century, wombat painting had become so popular that people wanted to see them for themselves.
3. Costa Rica - Their capital of San Jose was at one point going to be named Gellerville, after the character of Ross Geller on Friends, but was voted down by local officials who preferred Seinfeld.
4. Egypt - Despite aliens having built the pyramids, Egypt has the least recorded extraterrestrial encounters since the stat was first kept track of in 1957.
5. Sweden - The Swedish Chef from the Muppets was based on a real chef named Lennart Bjorklund, whom puppet makers met while on a meatball grand tour of Europe.
6. Senegal - Every single percussive instrument has origins in Senegal. In fact, the country has the most drum beats per square kilometer, according to the Percussion Institute of Africa (PIA).
7. Morocco - Despite the name similarities, the show Rocko's Modern Life was banned due to the Moroccan people disliking wallabies.
8. Mexico - In 1894, culinary student Jorge Gonzalo was eating a piece of pizza. Because the crust of this particular pizza was unusually flimsy, Jorge folded it in half. He thought doing this thoroughly bettered his enjoyment of the pizza, so he created what would become the modern burrito.
9. Nigeria - We all know that the Nigerian flag has two green stripes and one white stripe, but you probably didn't know that the green represents jalapenos and the white represents cheese, making their flag the queso flag.
10. Brazil - There was a time when all the birds in Brazil were black and white, until 1933, when Sherwin-Williams dumped 10,000 gallons of paint from airplanes as a publicity stunt.
11. Spain - Due to Christopher Columbus being bad at both naming things and finding America, the Spanish still refer to Boston as New New Delhi.
12. Portugal - This nation was named after a well known phrase at the time, "Port you gal", which meant someone was being a little wooden and in the water.
13. Tunisia - 46 percent of desert-related movie scenes are filmed in Tunisia. The next most popular location for desert scenes is New Mexico (23 percent).
14. Panama - In Panama, curtains are referred to as camisa de ventana, which translates to "window shirt".
15. Peru - Legend states that Peru got its name from the mythological cat, El Gatito, being told, "Pur you".
16. Switzerland - The writers cheated and purposely ranked it in the middle, as we were both neutral on it.
17. Belgium - Waffles were actually originally created in Luxembourg, but quickly became referred to as Belgian waffles due to menu creators charging by the letter.
18. Uruguay - Uruguay's capital, Montevideo, was originally founded by Monte del Montogomery in 1726 as a video store, making it the world's first (and largest) video store.
19. Argentina - In Argentina, it is illegal to sell or use Axe body spray. In unrelated news, Head in the Game is announcing that they are relocating to their new HQ in Buenos Aires.
20. Denmark - In the 1700s, Denmark was a pirate hotspot due to confusion, since they thought that den marks the spot.
21. Colombia - It's been said that the country's name is derived from Christopher Columbus, the famed explorer, but it's actually after Christopher Columbus, the director of Home Alone.
22. France - The character of Pink Panther was created in reference to a 19th-century trend in France where upper-class citizens would import panthers only to then paint them pink.
23. Germany - The famed Autobahn was originally named the Quicky-Quicky Fast Road, but had its name changed due to the popularity of the Transformers.
24. Japan - "House of the Rising Sun", the 1964 hit song by The Animals, was originally about Japan (which is often referred to as the "Land of the Rising Sun"), but executives at the record label thought Americans would be more favorable to it if it was about the U.S.A., so they changed it.
25. Saudi Arabia - The car company Audi was originally invented in Saudi Arabia, but when founder August Horch had a bad lunch, he moved the company to Germany and dropped the S.
26. England - This may be confidential information, but England technically controls half of Mars and one quarter of Mercury. They plan to start colonizing Mars in 2022.
27. Croatia - The nation got its name when one of its original founders was asked about starting a new country and famously said, "I'll create ya one".
28. South Korea - Early on in its existence, the capital, Seoul, sought to form trade relations with European countries. An Englishman who visited the city for trade talks thought of it as a very spiritual place, calling it a city with soul. Unfortunately, he couldn't spell, but the name still stuck.
29. Serbia - Serbia holds the world record for the most triple chia mocha raspberry frappuccinos consumed in under two hours while it was between 62 and 64 degrees Fahrenheit.
30. Iran - There is an unspoken agreement between all of the people of Iran that if they ever changed names, it would be Irun.
31. Poland - In 1993, there was a suggested law to alternate the name Poland with the name Pushland, but it was voted down due to the cost associated with switching signs once a year.
32. Russia - According to the World Fur Coat Database (WFCD), Russia has the most fur coats per capita of any country (as of 2016).
2. Australia - The original English settlers to Australia decided to colonize the island because, in the 18th-century, wombat painting had become so popular that people wanted to see them for themselves.
3. Costa Rica - Their capital of San Jose was at one point going to be named Gellerville, after the character of Ross Geller on Friends, but was voted down by local officials who preferred Seinfeld.
4. Egypt - Despite aliens having built the pyramids, Egypt has the least recorded extraterrestrial encounters since the stat was first kept track of in 1957.
5. Sweden - The Swedish Chef from the Muppets was based on a real chef named Lennart Bjorklund, whom puppet makers met while on a meatball grand tour of Europe.
6. Senegal - Every single percussive instrument has origins in Senegal. In fact, the country has the most drum beats per square kilometer, according to the Percussion Institute of Africa (PIA).
7. Morocco - Despite the name similarities, the show Rocko's Modern Life was banned due to the Moroccan people disliking wallabies.
8. Mexico - In 1894, culinary student Jorge Gonzalo was eating a piece of pizza. Because the crust of this particular pizza was unusually flimsy, Jorge folded it in half. He thought doing this thoroughly bettered his enjoyment of the pizza, so he created what would become the modern burrito.
9. Nigeria - We all know that the Nigerian flag has two green stripes and one white stripe, but you probably didn't know that the green represents jalapenos and the white represents cheese, making their flag the queso flag.
10. Brazil - There was a time when all the birds in Brazil were black and white, until 1933, when Sherwin-Williams dumped 10,000 gallons of paint from airplanes as a publicity stunt.
11. Spain - Due to Christopher Columbus being bad at both naming things and finding America, the Spanish still refer to Boston as New New Delhi.
12. Portugal - This nation was named after a well known phrase at the time, "Port you gal", which meant someone was being a little wooden and in the water.
13. Tunisia - 46 percent of desert-related movie scenes are filmed in Tunisia. The next most popular location for desert scenes is New Mexico (23 percent).
14. Panama - In Panama, curtains are referred to as camisa de ventana, which translates to "window shirt".
15. Peru - Legend states that Peru got its name from the mythological cat, El Gatito, being told, "Pur you".
16. Switzerland - The writers cheated and purposely ranked it in the middle, as we were both neutral on it.
17. Belgium - Waffles were actually originally created in Luxembourg, but quickly became referred to as Belgian waffles due to menu creators charging by the letter.
18. Uruguay - Uruguay's capital, Montevideo, was originally founded by Monte del Montogomery in 1726 as a video store, making it the world's first (and largest) video store.
19. Argentina - In Argentina, it is illegal to sell or use Axe body spray. In unrelated news, Head in the Game is announcing that they are relocating to their new HQ in Buenos Aires.
20. Denmark - In the 1700s, Denmark was a pirate hotspot due to confusion, since they thought that den marks the spot.
21. Colombia - It's been said that the country's name is derived from Christopher Columbus, the famed explorer, but it's actually after Christopher Columbus, the director of Home Alone.
22. France - The character of Pink Panther was created in reference to a 19th-century trend in France where upper-class citizens would import panthers only to then paint them pink.
23. Germany - The famed Autobahn was originally named the Quicky-Quicky Fast Road, but had its name changed due to the popularity of the Transformers.
24. Japan - "House of the Rising Sun", the 1964 hit song by The Animals, was originally about Japan (which is often referred to as the "Land of the Rising Sun"), but executives at the record label thought Americans would be more favorable to it if it was about the U.S.A., so they changed it.
25. Saudi Arabia - The car company Audi was originally invented in Saudi Arabia, but when founder August Horch had a bad lunch, he moved the company to Germany and dropped the S.
26. England - This may be confidential information, but England technically controls half of Mars and one quarter of Mercury. They plan to start colonizing Mars in 2022.
27. Croatia - The nation got its name when one of its original founders was asked about starting a new country and famously said, "I'll create ya one".
28. South Korea - Early on in its existence, the capital, Seoul, sought to form trade relations with European countries. An Englishman who visited the city for trade talks thought of it as a very spiritual place, calling it a city with soul. Unfortunately, he couldn't spell, but the name still stuck.
29. Serbia - Serbia holds the world record for the most triple chia mocha raspberry frappuccinos consumed in under two hours while it was between 62 and 64 degrees Fahrenheit.
30. Iran - There is an unspoken agreement between all of the people of Iran that if they ever changed names, it would be Irun.
31. Poland - In 1993, there was a suggested law to alternate the name Poland with the name Pushland, but it was voted down due to the cost associated with switching signs once a year.
32. Russia - According to the World Fur Coat Database (WFCD), Russia has the most fur coats per capita of any country (as of 2016).
Knockout Round Schedule:
Round of 16:
Saturday 6/30
Match 50 - France v Argentina - 10 AM, Fox
Match 49 - Uruguay v Portugal - 2 PM, Fox
Sunday 7/1
Match 51 - Spain v Russia - 10 AM, Fox
Match 52 - Croatia v Denmark- 2 PM, Fox
Monday 7/2
Match 53 - Brazil v Mexico - 10 AM, Fox
Match 54 - Belgium v Japan - 2 PM, Fox
Tuesday 7/3
Match 55 - Sweden v Switzerland - 10 AM, FS1
Match 56 - Colombia v England - 2 PM, Fox
Quarter-Finals:
Friday 7/6
Match 57 - Winner Match 49 v Winner Match 50 - 10 AM, FS1
Match 58 - Winner Match 53 v Winner Match 54 - 2 PM, FS1
Saturday 7/7
Match 60 - Winner Match 55 v Winner Match 56 - 10 AM, Fox
Match 59 - Winner Match 51 v Winner Match 52 - 2 PM, Fox
Semi-Finals:
Tuesday 7/10
Semi-Final 1 - Winner Match 57 v Winner Match 58 - 2 PM, Fox
Wednesday 7/11
Semi-Final 2 - Winner Match 59 v Winner Match 60 - 2 PM, Fox
3rd Place Match:
Saturday 7/14
Loser Semi-Final 1 v Loser Semi-Final 2 - 10 AM, Fox
Final:
Sunday 7/15
Winner Semi-Final 1 v Winner Semi-Final 2 - 11 AM, Fox
To stay up to date on the newest Head in the Game articles (and general sports commentary), follow @headingameblog on Twitter. You can also find us on Twitter @T_RoyStory (Troy) and @G_Tingley (Grant)
